You're not behind in life. You're just taking the time you need.

I spent so much of the past year feeling like I was falling behind.

In the months leading up to my 31st birthday, I felt like I was treading water in a wave pool of stress created by none other than yours truly.

I was losing that spark I felt for my job to the point where there was one night I told my husband I needed to quit altogether.

I was convinced I should take florist classes because I felt I would be much better at arranging flowers than trying to keep up with trying to be a newsroom manager.

Not only was I reeling about my lack of focus and passion when it came to work, but I also became increasingly anxious about another part of my life.

I was almost 31 and I wasn't a mom yet.

What was wrong with me? Why didn't I feel madly in love with my job? Why wasn't I already living out the mommyhood dreams that I felt so many women my age were?

Why was I so damn behind in life?

It would be embarrassing to tell you how many times I had some serious crying sessions over the fact that I felt like an inadequate 30-year-old.

I'm confessing it all because I think I'm not alone in feeling like I've been falling behind.

I think the idea that we need timelines in our lives is engrained in us as soon as we're old enough to have our achievements measured.

So basically, right out of the womb.

We're taught we need to achieve X to move on to Y within a set amount of time over and over again.

You need to land a job in your field quickly after graduating or you'll have trouble succeeding.

You should get married before you are 30 to have kids as soon as possible.

You need to move out on your own before a certain age or you're not really experiencing independence.

In some cases, we need timelines because they're helpful.

Parents, for instance, use developmental timelines for their children, like when they should start saying their first words, or learn how to read.

We use timelines to determine when we should complete grade levels in school and when to move on to the next.

We use these timelines for structure and to measure achievement, but trying to accomplish everything in life by a set time isn't so black and white.

How are you supposed to figure out the perfect timeline for being happy at a job or when or if to take on parenthood?

Those are deeply personal and often complex matters that take serious introspection and soul-searching.

So why don't we give ourselves some more grace and patience to figure it all out instead of feeling like we're losing the race against society's expectations of where we should be in life?

I'm only questioning the concept of the "life timeline" now, but I wish I had done so a bit sooner. It would have helped me realize that I wasn't behind.

I was just taking my time.

Fast forward a few months, and I've landed two jobs that have really made me feel joyful about what I do (and no, I didn't have to switch career paths to become a florist to reach career fulfillment).

As for the other aspects of life timelines I've struggled with, I've been trying to remind myself that it's okay to experience things at my own pace and to flow into those next big stages of life when I'm ready.

I still get overwhelmed and anxious when I think about the timing in my life, but the only clock I'm up against is one I've convinced myself I need to race against.

Maybe, time is actually on my side and your side, to help us make better decisions, to ground us, and to allow us to realize that going slow and steady in your own journey will get you exactly where you need to be.